Essay
Teacher had set his class an essay in "A Game of Cricket". After two minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home. His essay read: "Rain stopped play."
作文
教师给学生出了个作文题：“一场板球赛”。两分钟后，西蒙。斯蒂尔交了作文，教师允许他回家了。他在作文上写道：“下雨，竞赛停止。”
Who Discovered Australia?
Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.
Johnny: It's there, sir.
Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?
Sammy: Johnny, sir.
谁发现了澳大利亚?
教师：约翰尼，在地图上给我找出澳大利亚在什么当地。
约翰尼：先生，在这儿。
教师：对了。萨默，你来回答我是谁发现了澳大利亚?
萨默：先生，是约翰尼。
Lightning
Teacher: Why is it said that lightning never strikes the same place twice?
Roy: Because after it's struck once the same place isn't there any more!
闪电
教师：为什么说闪电历来不会两次击中同一个当地?
罗伊：因为它击中一个当地一次以后，那个当地就不存在了。
The Climate of New Zealand
Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
Teacher: Wrong.
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!
新西兰的气候
教师：马修，新西兰的气候怎样样?
马修：先生，那里的气候很冷。
教师：错了。
马修：但是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。
My Sister's Fingers
Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?
Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.
Teacher: I don't see any bandages.
Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.
我妹妹的手指头
教师：凯温，这次你怎样又迟到了?
凯温：对不起，教师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。
教师：怎样没有扎绷带呀?
凯温：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。